This Place I Call Obscurity

For Colored Girls: A Tragedy

2010-11-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

As jilted women, church congregations, and self loathing men stampede to yet another Tyler Perry Movie, one has to wonder is this the TRUE voice of our community. Perry attempts to finally be taken seriously as a director and visionary in his new film “For Colored Girls” which is based on the 1975 Choreopoem/play “For Colored Girls Who Have considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf” by Ntozake Shange. I, believe it or not, was very excited to see this movie being that it appeared to be a staunch departure from Perry’s previous work. I didn’t read any reviews or editorials because I wanted to be able to make the most honest judgment I could. Put simply my optimism was in vain, because what I saw was disgusting, and failed to promote the image of African Americans, rather it reinforced stigmas and did little to empower women.
Let’s get the good out of the way first. This movie was saved by the performances of the ensemble cast. Thandie Newton was my absolute favorite. Everyone raved on Kimberly Elise’s performance, which was amazing, however I’m always excited to see an actor perform outside of their norm. Her Character was basically the town slut, and oh did she play it well. She was bold and unapologetic when it came to her very friendly sex life. I feel like she was only character that was actually empowering, even with her eventual realization that she as a woman should not sleep around because its more suited for men…sigh. Also I didn’t have a problem with the characters randomly spitting out random outbursts of poetry. Even though the wording of the poems was somewhat dated in the present day setting of the movie, it still was a unique approach that I never seen done before, and that I can appreciate. I will also give Perry credit for using a good range of pigmentation in the movie.
Unfortunately with the movies small successes come great fallacies. Firstly this film shows that Perry is a absolutely terrible director. He has no idea about subtlety and nuance. His obvious messages are pushed into the audience’s faces as if we cannot connect the dots without someone holding the pencil for us. The scene where the girl goes to get an abortion was cringe worthy at the least. Let’s be serious this movie is set in present day New York and you’re telling me that this girl has to dodge crack heads, pit bulls, and gamblers only to get a botched abortion from some destitute woman. We get it Tyler…you’re anti-choice, but using scare tactics in order to get your message across is exhausting and further discredits you as a legitimate film maker (not that u care since you hardly open your films to critics before the release dates.) It is evident that it is more important to Perry to pander to his core church audience, rather than to take a leap of faith and create a true artistic work that would compliment or even elevate the original work.
Through most of the movie I was irritated because in one scene it would take 2 steps forward, then in the next one trillion steps backwards, but towards the end I felt intense anger and sadness. First was the scene with the Babies falling out of the window. This is the moment that I felt the movie had completely gone to shit. Yet another example of Perry not giving the audience enough credit, and resorting to ultra melodramatic climaxes that drain the viewer. This scene was completely unnecessary and honestly unrealistic. I’m sorry I know this could happen but it is THE WORST CASE SCENARIO. Next up is the oh so tired “Down low” storyline scattered throughout the movie. Watching Janet predictably find out that her husband was secretly sleeping with men and ultimately infecting her with HIV was a tragedy to view. You could hear the women in the audience gasp and moan when the HIV was revealed. In that moment I felt like irreversible damage had been done to black gay men everywhere. The homophobic undertones were agonizing, and I felt absolutely helpless in a sea of angry black women ready to burn any gay man they saw at the stake. The problem is that their ignorance has been legitimized because the idea that bisexual men are the cause for the explosion of HIV in black women is on the big screen all across America. There is no message telling these women that there is no verifiable link with bisexual men creating the HIV epidemic among African American women. How can we…better yet how can I watch something like this and come out of theater exclaiming, “wow that was his best film yet!”, when I have been effectively demonized and drummed to a HIV vessel ready to pounce on the first unsuspecting woman I encounter.
Now comes the important question I’m sure you are thinking. Will I spend money in the future on a Tyler Perry movie? I want to say no, but the truth is I probably will since he is the only voice we have for now, yet saying that discredits this whole post right?

Light Gray Eyes, Hour Glass Frame

2010-04-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry,some of the vid is cut off...However this is beyond hilarious. Oh and Yes I know its been like 5 years...I have no excuse or explanation so just enjoy the video. Good Day.

Racism Experiment....

2009-09-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

/div>

Came Across this very interesting Vid about shopping while black.

Sigh...

2009-09-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sexually and emotionally frustrated......That is all

SooOoooo Obsessed.....

2009-06-23T17:31:00.000-07:00

with these Nike Dunks. I saw them in the store today and died for like 10 minutes.

Oh by the way this is a random post, and it starts.................NOW

Dorian from college hill is PACKIN'.....I'm not really into to the obvious closet queen types but i would definitely like to......................I need to stop here.

How do we feel about Mariah's new single "Obsessed"? I like it...very catchy
Aren't we excited for Transformers?!

I hate paying for oil changes....but will never do them myself.

I really should be listening to my professor but blogging is more exciting.

speaking of class, there's this older black woman in my class. would it be wrong to ask her to come cook some soul food at my house? I really miss my mom.

So Obama killed a fly....I love it when he's aggressive.

if you're single is it ok to sometimes "make love" or just FUCK?.....I tend to gravitate towards the latter....

*Song of the moment: JoJo- 25 to Life*

I'm the Shit Wit This Shit....

2009-06-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

So for this past week I've been jammin to my girls Electrik Red Non stop. I absolutely love their album! Its super original...very kelis-esque but still something we haven't heard from a girl group. The songs are bangers wit vulger lyrics that give enough shock to keep you listening. The album is all produced exclusively by The Dream and ya'll know I luvs me some Him (and Plies..)!

My favorite songs:

Freaky Freaky

On Point (my fav at the moment)

W.F.Y. (We Fuck You)

Drink in My Cup

9 to 5

Only on Weekends...

2009-06-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a dizzy whirlwind. I was definitely drained near death by Monday morning.

Friday: I stayed late at work then went to the barbershop. Then I moved from 10 at night till 6 am the next day. Some dude came over with another friend that was extra muscular so made him move the big stuff I was too lazy to pick up. I may let him take me on a couple of dates....

Saturday: I was completely in zombie mode at work. I came home and went to sleep, woke up to eat and then back to bed.

Sunday: Work sucked, but I was lookin' forward for some poolside fun. The pool party in Buckhead was exactly what I needed. The Italian was there and I chilled with him for a while then bumped around socializing with a hint of flirtation in my eyes. Sebastian found out we were on "the list" for club Eros (whatever that means because we still paid 5 dollars). It was an ok crowd but I needed a little more. Total sidebar: I have this dude that is like my eternal flirt buddy. Every time we see each other we dance, flirt, chop it up, and exchange seductive glances, but since we kinda run in the same circles we've kind of stayed away from taking it further. I'm kind of tired of it now because he needs to be my husband!!! anywho the start of my summer in ATL was very promising. I kind of feel a random post coming on so be on the look out!

*Song of the moment: Electrik Red- Drank in My Cup*

Transition

2009-06-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

Today Sebastian and I will be moving into a new apartment. We're still in the same complex but we're upgrading to an APT with more space. Although I am excited for this move I do have to admit I'm a little sad to leave my current living space. So many struggles, planning, studying, and more planning has went one in my first apartment. From a field mouse sneaking in and me jumping on the counter screaming "KILL IT KILL IT" with a pot in my hand to Watching the Real Housewives of New York Reunion having the best laughs of the year. I can still remember how I felt the first time I walked in. I felt like I arrived and my life had taken a great turn for the better. As the sunlight broke through the vertical blinds in the living room I somehow knew I had made the right decision. So to my current living space I say Farewell old chap!!! it's been nice and I will forever remember my many intellectual and yes sexual endeavors that I have experienced inside of you.

*Song of the Moment: Tamar-New Day*

I'm sorry!!!

2009-05-27T16:44:00.001-07:00

I'm not dead I swear. Atlanta has not swallowed me whole. The recession hasn't sent me back to Minnesota. There so much that has went on since my last post during MLK....too much to talk about. Nothing too dramatic though. I've been working so hard on my life here. I work at another bank, and I jus finished my first semester of school here. I'm actually in summer school right now not paying attention. So since its really pointless to try to go back through all events since January, I'll jus sum it up in saying its was rough and wild but I'm all good and actually pretty satisfied with my progress.

Recent events have been pretty interesting:

School right now sucks.....I have class until super late at night and I am not a happy camper, but I did get my final grades back from last semester and they were pretty good. Sidebar: It's so weird the way the racial demographic has changed in my classes since moving from Minnesota. Also I am so FUCKING tired of buying books then not being able to sell them back....College is such a corporation LOL.

I'm still single, but for the first time in a while I think I may be looking for something with a little more substance. I did go on a date recently with someone from a rival frat...shame on me. We'll call him The Italian because of his name. The date was very very good. We had good convo, nice restaurant, and a cute face to look at. He took me this Tapas bar in the Virginia-Highland area. For some reason I didn't realize that the portions were so small, so unfortunately i was hungry when I left but the idea was cute LOL.

Random notes about SIZZLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all know that I love me some Miami sizzle.Sebastian and I got our complete life and a lil mo'.......

I did meet a blogger (this is becoming a vacation tradition of mine) who was actually very cool so hopefully we'll get to converse in the future.

I have so many random area codes in my phone for no reason.

I was drunk most of the weekend off Bacardi and Tequila sunrises....therefore I don't know if i was a bad boy or not.

I need a GYM!!!

I ate a steak sandwich outside the club and it was so nasty....but good the next morning.

I naired and it burned so good...

I've actually been writing this post for more than a week...

*Song of the Moment: Lil Wayne Feat. Drake-Every Girl*

The Prequel

2009-01-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

So here we are once again with another MLK weekend. Some opted for inauguration some for here, but whatever you chose I'm sure you'll have an very interesting experience. This is my second MLK ATL weekend, but this time I'm not visiting so it'll be a little different. Tonight Sebastian and I plan on going to Wetbar instead of Bulldog because of the frigid temperatures. I don't feel like gettin' caught up in the Minnesota like weather standin in a ridiculous line. I'll be sure to update you guys on this weekend's endeavors. Hopefully I'll keep my clothes on all weekend.......

P.S. Speak if you see me, I'm nice I promise!

*Song of the Moment: Teairra Mari-Hunt 4 U*

When Will Black Film Get it's Groove Back?

2009-01-06T20:15:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a very slow day for me. I just mainly chilled, cleaned up a little, and watched How Stella Got Her Groove Back on BET. I honestly forgot how good of a movie that was. Sure it wasn't SAG award worthy but it's just one of those classic black films. While I was watching I couldn't help but to wonder what exactly happenned to black film? I'm not talking about the onslaught of Tyler Perry Madea Tom Foolery that has been the only skewed representation of African American Culture, I mean I'm not hating on Tyler Perry because I can definately appreciate his point of view. I just would like to see a black film without it having a obvious christian subtext EVERY SINGLE TIME. What happenned to movies like Love Jones, Brown Sugar, or Love & Basketball. It was those movies that had those story lines that u could curl up in a thick down comforter with your best friend, by yourself, or that special someone. Those Sensual sex scenes that made you sweat and squirm just enough to look at your phone with thoughts of callin some dude you know that u shouldn't be callin. Those bomb soundtracks that u had to have.

Why have these movies ceased to exist? Bootlegging, Racism in Hollywood, Tyler Perry Monopoly (my personal favorite conspiracy theory)?

So what are your favorite films of the 90s/early millenium? Below is a clip of that oh so sexy love scene from Jason's Lyric.....Ahh memories.

*Song of the moment: Accapella (Something is Missing)-Brandy*

Jada Pinkett Smith Love Scene - A funny movie is a click away

Reflections 2008 and New direction

2009-01-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Today I Attended Church To give thanks to God for taking me through 2008 without much struggle. I have realized that I Have become too self reliant, and I need to give some things to God to take care of. I do need him. This is something is that is hard for me to say because I always try to do everything on my own, but I Know that sometimes getting help is ok. I plan to do big things in 2009 and my focus is at 1000 percent.

Sooo...I wanted to do my favorite things of 2008 kinda thing.

Music:
Favorite song that was released in 2007 but i didn't listen until 2008 LOL
Nikki: The Dream

Favorite girl group song
Damaged: Danity Kane

Favorite song from an artist that actually has talent
In Love with Another Man: Jazmine Sullivan

Favorite Ratchett song:
Aint I remix: Yung LA

Favorite gay boy song
Beyonce:Single Ladies

Favorite Album
Danity Kane: Welcome to the Dollhouse

Clothes:

Favorite Store:
MetroPark

Favorite Brand:
Obey

Favorite Shoe:
Nike Dunk High top.....yellow gray and black

Least Favorite gay boy trend:
Lil Wayne A Milli Scarves
Shutter Frames (ok that was two but they both had to be mentioned)

Miscellaneous

Favorite Memory:
Being at Club Space at Miami Sizzle and seeing the sun rise at the rooftop.......amazing

Favorite Mistake:
Leaving the lights on in my car so many muthafuckin times, and thus using up all my roadside assistance within two months.

Favorite ATL club: The Chapparel (or "The Shap" as I call it).

Favorite Dance:
The Ricky Bobby

Favorite Blogger:
Corey Keith

Favorite Blog Post:
Another Day at The Office

Favorite Youtube Video:

Random Tidbit: Happy Pre Founders Day to those who it matters to!!

*Song of the Moment: Keri Hilson Feat. Lil Wayne-Turnin Me On*

This Place I call Obscurity Phase 2

2008-12-10T18:20:00.000-08:00

First off I want to apologize to all my fellow blogger buddies and spectators. I have left this blog on a cliffhanger. No I did not die on the way to Atlanta LOL. I actually made it safely and I have just been getting adjusted for the last month and thus neglected this here blog. so wow where do I start. Hmm.......maybe I should answer some of these looming questions that have been in my previous posts comments section. now I know that there is some sort of stereotypes about dudes moving to atlanta, but I feel it is necessary to mention that I really don't fit the mold of any perceived model or expectation of young males like myself

1st question: Turn me up a lil do u have a job? Um yes I have a job...why wouldn't I?

2nd question: Oh Turn Me up well you can't be enrolled in school because you obviously moved to Atlanta to fuck and go to all the parties right? No. I am enrolled in school. Why would you think I wasn't I mean I thought I made it clear I was transferring from the beginning.

3rd question: Who are you staying with? family and friends? the Street? C'mon now....I've had an apartment reserved down here since July.

Moral of the story: Turn me up has and always will be on BUSINESS.

Now with that out of the way let's get to the fun part. I have been here for a month and the experiences I have had here already have trumped all the occurrences in Minnesota for like three years. The boys, the parties, my great new apartment, my ghetto ass job, the attention, the drama (mild), the juggling, The prioritizing, the budgeting,never ending sweet tea, the clothes, the boys, the boys, ohhhh the boys LOL. All these things have made for the most defining time in my life so far. I know there are some naysayers out there who think I made a bad decision and I'm just a stereotype, but oh well I did what was right for me and so far everything is good so I have no regrets. I am for the first time in a long time optimistic of the future both socially and professionally. Now that I'm back in the swing of things with the blog I will try not to stay away for long again (How many times have I made this promise). I did have more to write but it's my birthday (the 10th), and this punk ass nigga just walked in here with a gallon of€ Kroger brand sweet tea as my birthday present....I mean how dare you?! I'm kind of burnt up right now so let me stop writing before I explode all over this blog.

Almost There

2008-10-31T09:11:00.001-07:00

Very short post today, but I promise I will give a full one this weekend...(or next week, Ya'll know how I do).

So I'm in Milwaukee for a couple of days to see my family and meet up with Sebastian so he can trail me down to Georgia. Lord knows I don't feel like driving all these hours. My car is jam packed with a whole bunch of stuff I probably don't need but I'm such a pack rat, and I can only fight it so much. The best part of this whole moving thing so far is that it only cost me 28 dollars to fill up my tank. This is amazing because it used to cost me 70 dollars to fill up my big body caprice....yes 70 dollars! When I filled up my new car I was so confused like what does the screen say? I thought the pump had malfunctioned or somethin. I had to give my life to the lord in that moment for that blessing LOL.

Total sidebar: Why did one of my prior cut buddies ask me one a date? Where did he ask me to go?.....To Burger King. Are you serious? do you think I'm a two dolla ass negro? his response, "Well shit we can go to Pizza hut then." What? Please know that his number was deleted immediately

Anywho I need to make some cds for they trip but can't think of any good new songs. Any ideas?

Song of the Moment: *Jazmine Sullivan-My Foolish Heart*

Organized Chaos

2008-10-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to get things in order before I depart more than 1100 miles away things are getting really hectic. I hate hate hate waiting and depicted above (through my hands) is my frustration of gettin my brakes done. It took Forever!!! but they are done and I'm happy with my car situation. I just bought it last month, and so far it's running just fine.

All my furniture is going away. I sold my living room, bedroom, and kitchen set. My bedroom is now in shambles everything gone in a quick 15 minutes.

This is my bedroom before

Here it is at present. chaotic? yes but I know where everything is

Dating? hmmm...I don't even know what to say about that. I've been talkin to this dude since May that lives in Atlanta. We get along, nothing too serious, however once I get there will it change. I really do like him, but who knows what's ahead of me. He doesn't put any pressure on me either which is very good, or it may be he doesn't want to commit either. Every other dude is not even worth mentioning because they're either 1. Broke 2. ugly (extremely) 3. Broke and ugly.

So my near future roommate just got word that his sister will not be making the drive south with us, and with my friend flaking out on me too that means that both me and him will be driving down alone in our separate cars BOOOOOO!!!! I should give my roommate a name hmmm......Sebastian is fitting for him. I will post a pic of him very soon.

*Song of the moment: Tupac Feat. Keyshia Cole- Play your Cards Right*

This is Art

2008-10-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

This new video of 'If I Were a Boy' be Beyonce is amahhhhhhzing. It brought so much to an already top notch song. That's all I have to say for now, however I may be back like tomorrow to do a real post.

Beyonce - If I were A Boy (New)
by Le-Tour-2Lor

Minnesota Chainsaw Massacre

2008-10-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

I have not blogged in SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long. I've been so busy, tired, horny, depressed, happy, angry, and horny all over again. So I ended up working 19 days straight with no days off......at all...BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! But I do get hella overtime yay! Nothing really interesting happenned over the course of those days except that I bought a car.....yay!!! and I bought it wholesale so I have no car payments double yay!!!........AND i can be real ghetto and ratch and just get liability Insurance triple YAY!!!!!! Ok enough of the yay...how have you guys been Corey?.......ok not so good. Darius?.........laughing at mentally challenged individuals....tisk tisk.lol. Me I'm doing really good this week. God has really been good to me very recently, and even though all things might come tumbling down next week I'll still have faith.

Hmmm....so what else....I'm lame, and I have nothing interesting to talk about. Obviously its 3:47 PM and I should be working but I ain't doin shit as usual, but texting and watching Youtube on my phone. I did go to a haunted house last weekend and it wasn't nothin BUT the lord that got me through it. What in the fuck is wrong with these mid western farmers and their twisted minds. I mean one part had a man with a chain saw that was turned on. I got so scared that I pushed everybody out the way, pulled this girl tracks out (she said it was her real hair but we all KNOW that wasn't nothin but Yaki), and jetted up the pathway. Tell me why the man with the chain saw started chasing me with gosh darn thing turned on. I did make it out safe but not without bein torn, brusied, and musty..........jk that degree is a beast.

Moving on the countdown has began for the big move and much business has to be taken care of. I will try to keep u guys updated, and I have more videos to post of people hurting themselves.....I should make it a weekly feature....Yes?....No?

*Song of the moment-Neyo: Single*

Quick Random shit cuz i'm busy as hell....

2008-09-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Life recently has been really hectic. I've neglected my blog a lil, but only to take care of priorities. Rather than going into long paragraphs I'd rather jus be quick and random......kinda like my current sex life. So here we go:

I've been pulling hella overtime, and I'm tryin to plot and scheme a way to steal some more hours.
Have ya'll see that new trailer for that Buppies show? I'm kinda excited. I've been seeing on all these blogs and web press.....so I stole it and I'm gonna post it on here.
I've always wanted to be a Buppie....I'm half way there.
I Love that halle berry song that came from dallas.....HALLE BERRY!!!!!! its prolly old as hell.....(Thanks Merce)......
I cooked some hamburger helper tonight. I felt extra festive and threw in some steamed broccolli. I'm so proud of myself lol.
I know I'm extremely late but that Katy Perry song I kissed a girl is my shit....yes I've been under a rock.
Ok below I have 2 vids. The first one is a personal favorite of mine. It shows why you should never let people throw you in the air. The second one is of the trailer from Buppies....Enjoy!!

*Song of the moment: Ryan Leslie Feat. Cassie-Addiction*

They Fucked her up!!!! Her teamates need a whoop whoop.......I can't stop laughin...

BUPPIES TEASER from BUPPIES on Vimeo.

Introduced Me to Ya Family and Friends......

2008-09-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ok so I jus got a chance to catch the Fashion Rocks performances, and although I think beyonce, as always, had a good performance I think Solange really did her thing. Her vocals and outfit were on point 4 real!!!.........Maybe I should think about buying her album.

Find more videos like this on The Celebrity Network

Where Were We?

2008-09-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Well as I told you guys before My laptop has committed suicide so my life definitely sucks until next week when I get a new one. I really wanted to give all the details from the ATL trip, but Its so over. Instead I'll give a quick overview

Bulldogs was fun but I thought it for the older folks not that fatter folks

Trademark is too hot in the inside OMG!!!

708 parking gave me what I needed. LOL

Why all the cross-dressing in Lenox Mall?

The Cascade house party was the shyt

The Park and Europe gave much life

Mr. Corey Keith Thanks For the company

Ok so moving on from but not really I am officially moving to Atlanta November 1st (I know surprise right). Me and my bestfriend are making the biggest moves of our lives and I'm so excited yet scared. Am I making a good decision or the WORST MOVE OF MY LIFE?? I don't know but I don't ever want to have ask my self what if? ya know......

I do have a plan......I've been planning since January

I wish I could post pics of my future apt but they're in my old phone.....I love it BTW

I got an Iphone!!!!

And Finally so I finally Have info on what I exactly do at this job of mine.......its like some type of ya know.....um........you know....uh like some type of Anti-Money Laundering investigation. LOL

*Song of the moment: Algebra Blessett- At this Time*

sigh....

2008-09-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well this post is going to be really short. My laptop has died. Actually I think I ran it into the ground to the point that i'm sure it committed suicide. I will have details later this week from my adventure in the A. Any ideas on cheap laptops? ( It's only temporoary until later this year)........

Goin to ATL once again....

2008-08-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Atlanta in a couple of hours......I hope everyone has a great weekend! Speak if you see me!

*Song of the moment: Dear Jayne Feat. Rasheeda-Ice Cream*

Another Day at the Office

2008-08-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

Today was very busy for me. I started my new position and my dad also flew in today. So for my first day my supervisor assigned to me the very important task of.......drum roll please..............reading a compliance manual the size of a bell south all in one phone book. I smiled in his face real fake like "I'll definitely read it and take notes". Man as soon as I went to my desk I read one page and layed my lazy ass right inside the book then closed it on my head to block the lights. Twenty minutes later I woke up and read the first section. Feeling accomplished I felt the need to talk to my good buddy ol' pal Merce via text message. Isn't it strange how when you're at work you have the most pointless convos with people just to avoid work. Here's an example of the pointless exchange she and I had in the morning:

Merce: My feet hurt Damn it!!!!

Me: You better tighten them pussy walls up.

Merce: WTF that got to do with anything.

Me: I don't know I was caught up in the jet stream.

Merce: My feet ashy.

Me: Mine look like koala bear feet.

Merce: I Just screamed when I read that message. What is wrong with you?

Me: I'm 4 real it look like I climb trees and shit. But that's ok though because I'm gonna go home and break out my good knives and wear these feet of mine out!!

Merce: Man you sound like that one episode of Martin with Myra's feet.

Me: You got to go to work on Myra's feet!!!

After a big ignorant lunch (I had a burrito and she had some Church's):

Merce: Man I'm so sleepy....we don't do nothin we supposed to. Who do we think we are?

Me: Man we just Negros in america tryna make ends meet.

Merce: in a low ass tax bracket.

Me: But they keep trying to put us in a higher one...that's why I always opt out of all overtime and doing extra for incentives. Just give me my regular 8 to 5 Paycheck......shit all that other stuff don't do nothin but put us in a higher ass tax bracket anyway...shit. Man I'm bout to go to sleep again. call me when you get off.

So that was basically my first day and if everyday is like this then I'm gonna love this job!

Oh before I forget my dad and I went and got some chicken and beer, and watched the Olympics as our first bonding experience in years....It was cool but I feel so country now!!!!

One more thing!!!! I'm gettin ever so close to really finding out what exactly I do in this position so I'll keep ya'll posted.

*Song of the moment: Break The Ice- Britney Spears*

Just Because I'm Feelin' Good & Random Today.....

2008-08-13T16:10:00.000-07:00

Its been about a week since I've had somethin to say. I've been in a very "woe is me" kinda mood...I don't know why (I suspect its the Tundra). Today I've feelin good and sorta sexy..sorta........and also Random!!! Ahem.......

Ok so my Taggaz membership expired and now I realize that I absolutely can't deal with regular free porn so I will be renewing ASAP!

Fanny Pak how could they eliminate you?!!!!! They cannot take the queens givin it I see SMH

Fuck that I feel damn sexy today....shit.

I'm growin out my goatee currently. is that good? I don't know how I feel about it so far.

I've decided that when my dad comes I'm jus going to play it cool because Its just not the right time with me moving soon and stuff. Did I mention my dad is the most country man I've ever met.....sigh I can't wait for him to bring them southern hot links and sausages up here though (is that ghetto that he's bringin all that on a plane or country?).

Its Just a couple of weeks til' labor day in the ATL. me and best friend are so ready.....the question is are ya'll? yes....no?........ok I know I'm not important.lol

I bought this bomb tee from Metropark I just need a fitted to go with it... so Ebay it is!! does anybody else like Metropark?

Man Jazmine sullivan is a mufukin' BEAST in this game.

Is it bad that I only watch gymnastics in hopes that someone will bust their head so I can laugh and scream my little heart out?

Tommorow is my last day in my current position and I'm so fuckin Geeked!!! The sad part is I still don't exactly know what I do in the new position but honestly I don't care just move me and my paycheck up. Yes LAWD!

Did I mention I miss my Taggaz.com (My hand is going through withdrawal).

*song of the moment- LL Cool J Feat. The Dream: Baby*

Damn It I Forgot!!!!

2008-08-07T17:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen my dad since I was 18, (I'm 21 currently) and I'm pretty used to not seeing him. He and I have an on and off relationship due to him living in North Carolina and not helping my mom when she was taking care of me alone. This year me and him have connected again and he is trying to help me financially and I do appreciate it. So he wanted to come up here to spend some time with me, and then we're gonna drive down to Milwaukee to my cousin's wedding which was really cool. I booked his plane ticket and stuff and was thinking that this would be good seeing my dad and things could really get better between us. As I kept thinking good, positive thoughts something kept itching the back of my brain. I knew I had forgot something, maybe I put his ticket under my name instead of his.......no we have the same name, or maybe I wouldn't be off work when is the plane gets here.....nah I'll have plenty of time. Then it hit me...

I FORGOT HE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GAY!!

Damn it!!!! Now its not like I'm some big flame or somethin, but still I've changed a little I'll admit. My mom has been knowing since I was 17 but she didn't want me to tell my dad until I went off to college, but I just kept putting it off because I didn't want to go through that process again ( The first time around was not pretty..not pretty at all). Also with the exception with one of my cousins noone on my dad's side of the family knows I like dudes, and the only reason my cousin knows is because when I told her last year I was comin down to ATL where she lives labor day weekend she basically knew at the point. She just flat out asked me like "You like boys?". I laughed because she asked it with this ghetto/country twang to her voice. I told her the truth and she was cool and we actually have a great relationship. She told me that I should really tell my dad, and I agreed but I still never did it. So here lies the dillemma do I tell him when he comes or should I wait until a better time? My first instinct is to wait but I think its more of me wanting not to deal with this now. Sigh...........confusion is a bitch.

*Song flowing in my ear- India Arie: Good morning*

Only on Weekends....

2008-08-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was uber blah so this weekend I decided to go out mainly because it my friend Merce's going away weekend. She's moving to Dallas to get away from the tundra and I'm super sad she's leaving me behind, but I'm happy to see her going to pursue something different. She is my ride or die, my bottom B**CH, may ace boon coon lol, and I will very much miss her, I'll see her in January though when she comes to visit me at my new location. It will be great to see how our lives are going post tundra.

Thurs night-

So I have Fridays and Saturdays off until I start my position and then it will be Mon-Fri, Thus my weekends starts Thurs night and I'm at work ugly on Sunday morning. Anywho this guy that used to live here, and we'll just call him East-Coast, hit me up sayin he wanted to come through because he just moved back here which was ok as long as he came early becuase I go to sleep early, but in true negro fashion he arrived at like 2 somethin in the morning. So he comes in and immediately wants to get "cozy". I just breathed real hard and was like well..............shit. I know what ya'll thinkin but we didn't do nothin like that ( am I Lying?........ maybe). Later that night/morning he tryin to be all emotional like I'm really feelin you and I wanna see where this goes. HMMM ok well my reply was if you want something even remotely serious with me you have to plan shit with me before 2 in the morning. His reply was so ridiculous I'm too embarrassed to write it...........This Negro says to me, "Well I sleep all day so doin that would mess up my sleeping habits." mind you this man is unemployed as hell so he had no chance anyway but yo lazy ass is triflin still for thinking its ok for you to say that. So basically at this point I just yawned real ugly and gave him the signal that his time was up.

Friday-

-Nothing too spectacular I just paid my bills and I got my hair cut......OH YEA!! my barber was so doin things to me.....he can hit this thang real soft in the broom closet. What is really up wit gay men and their infatuation with their barbers? But that's a different subject so anyways later that night I went out to the str8 club which was ok for what it was...I saw some of my previous whoop bams (my phrase for friends with benefits). One of them and his friends came over after the club and chilled to like 6 am. It was fun because one of them was like real uppity but later revealed he did all types of drugs so it was funny seeing him trying to justify killing himself.

Saturday-

I got real fresh and sexy and went to the mall of America to do some much needed shopping. I got a pair of dunks and to tees from Metropark. Later I picked up my ex ,and we'll just call him Pimp C (more on him in the future), proceeded to the Merce's goin away dinner at NBA city. I had a freakin blast losin both games of that one basketball thingy.....you know what I'm talkin about right? ......right. Pimp C was a real gentlemen and he actually has his shit together so why did I opt to go home alone and not rekindle the flame? I dunno maybe I need to do a little introspection

So that was basically it for me now I'm at work on this ugly Sunday afternoon that the lord made....and I guess I'm glad in it. I hope everyone had a great weekend!!! and yea......pics below

I was real tipsy off one drink so my eyes can't be shown at this point....

I love my Merce

You see that dude in the black? Yea that's me losing...

*Song of the Weekend- Trina: Look back at it*

I got a Promotion!!!!! I don't know what I do though...

2008-07-30T16:33:00.000-07:00

So I didn't want to say anything before because I didn't want to jinx it, but I was in the process of interviewing for a higher position within my company . I really didn't think I would get it because you know I'm young and shit so I figured they would feel like I needed more development. Nonetheless I put on my gosh darn Suit and tie and my smart man glasses and BEASTED that Interview.....I mean I was spittin them answers out quicker than he could ask them and I could see the look on his face like wow this is coming from him?!

After the interview he told me he would get back with me in two weeks to let me know because there were a lot of other candidates trying for the position. The interview was yesterday and he offered me the position today with a raise, (not enough to make me stay in the tundra but still good) and I move up like 14 floors. so know I'm a Bank Secrecy Act Specialist III (don't that sound Bomb on my resume?!). Don't ask me what exactly I will be doing because I don't know (I got a little confused when the man was explaining the position to me LOL), but this only the beginning to my struggle out of obscurity so keep watching.....

*Song of the moment- Trey Songz: Gotta Go

Roast beef for lunch = one sleepy Negro

2008-07-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

Man I'm at work real wore out. I'm at my desk extremely bored, and just know that I ate this huge ass roast beef dinner for lunch and now I feel like shit....my fat ass appetite!

My weekend kinda sucked. I did absolutely not shit....I mean 4 real a person my age in the middle of the summer should do something other than sittin in the house doin things to himself till it hurts. I don't know why I decline all requests to go out... but I'm not bitter I suppose, I'm just not feelin it.

There's this dude that works by me that is somewhat attractive and always seems to be in my face. I wonder if I should investigate but I'm so over trying to figure out people's sexuality so i'll wait till he says something...if he doesn't then oh well.

This ratchett ass girl behind me sent me an e-mail talkin bout she got that wet-wet.....UMMM yea that doesn't sound too appetizing. I feel bad though for letting her give me a ride home and not inviting her up. I know she was a BURNING BITCH when i did that because she was expecting me to invite her up but shit I really just wanted a ride...shit

I have to go to one of my best friend's son B-day party today. I love her son I wish someday I could have one just like him. I bought him a nice yellow and gray polo from Gap Kid. I'm mad I'm daydreaming about the Taco Salad and Cupcakes at my desk while the roast beef is still fresh on my stomach...man my mom should have whooped my ass for bein so greedy sometimes...

........well let me get back to work on this nice Sunday afternoon..Here's hoping next weekend I actually go out and kick it a lil

Obscurity: The back story

2008-07-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This may kinda boring but if it wasn't a little on the dreary blah side then this blog wouldn't be called Obscurity now would it?

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you thought you had it all figured out, but you find out that you are at a dead end and hadn't even realized until then......?

I am originally from milwaukee and was 100 percent sure I wanted to be here and major in history. I wanted to teach or write a book or something. Being here I've had some really good times; I've done fairly well with my grades, met some great individuals, pledged a black greek letter org, and also got some valuable work experience.

About a year ago after I crossed (insert org here) I kind of felt empty...not so much my decision to pledge but just my life and my decision to move here. I had devoted so much attention to other things but had absolutely no personal life.....like at all. I mean it was cool to go to all the college parties and all the straight clubs but soon it just got to the point where I was going just for the music (which wasn't anything special). Now I'm not anything thirsty for boys or seeking to be somewhere where i can go boy crazy but its become to the point where now I just work and come home and do nothing...like nothing. I don't go out or anything because I don't see the point up here its just super wack.

The weather up here is no joke. I mean the winters here are very harsh and its a struggle just to make it. My car has been towed numerous times for bullshit reasons i.e. snow emergency, spring leaf emergency, fall leaf emergency. It has come to the point where I add being towed into my budget. The cost of living is ridiculous.....I was paying way too much for a 1 bedroom for which I didn't even have a full stove or refrigerator.

I am a very focused individual and my priorities are always in order, but I have reached a point where I feel like I'm going towards getting a pointless degree. I work in banking and I am getting major experience and decent pay. I would love to continue in the financial industry and I plan to do so but I wouldn't get paid anymore if I had a history degree....so I want a valuable degree but which one? I don't know.......I haven't decided. all of this constantly depresses me...........so I travel ALOT mainly to Atlanta (but I go other places too!!!!! I was at sizzle....shit).

So my solution:

I really think I need a change....a drastic change. I need to start fresh because I feel that is what's best for me because if I stay here I will FAIL AT LIFE....I know I will stop doing everything and eventually give up and go sit in a pile of dirty snow until I no longer breathe. I have already started making preparations for this drastic change, actually since January but its been super motion as of 4th of July weekend. I don't really know if this the right decision but I'm just gonna do it because if I fail the tundra will still be here waiting.

So what is this monumental change you ask?

I'm sure its not that hard to figure out so I'll let you guys state the obvious.....and before ya'll do I'm not making this decision because I want to be extra gay and cliche.lol

So here's my sorta deepness.......sorta

* Song playing in background- Teairra Mari: Find My Way Back*

It's Plies BABBBYYYYY!!!!!!

2008-07-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Ok so its definitely hard in every sense of the word being in the tundra without any stimulation mentally or physically. It's days like today that I start to day dream......of Plies mostly......sigh. Now I'm not even into hood Negroes like that but maaaaaaaan he does something to my spirit.....but alas he is out of touch prolly somewhere in Georgia being a goon or whatever he says. So as I sit here fresh from work I think of him and other things.......random things (I did warn you guys about how random I was LOL).

Ok so why did I just purchase my plane ticket to Atlanta for labor day weekend Just because I felt like it?

Shutter Glasses need to go back to the pits of hell from which they came.

Why is this my fourth trip to Atlanta in one year?

I'm still livid that ASIID was eliminated from ABDC

Has anyone heard Ciara's song High Price?.....It's the shizz.

Man Plies can get it get it get it on the floor

I think I left my iron on all day.....when will I learn from my mistakes.

I still don't feel like gettin deep yet on here is that a bad sign?.....hmmm

I think I may have some crushes on some blog people already.....such a shame

* song playing in background- Plies: Excuse my hands*

Oh Shizz That Damn Cherry!

2008-07-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

Wow it looks like I finally got the nuts to finally start this blogging shin dig. I'm so late for just starting this but do to recent events I am forced by something deep inside to express. SO HERE IT IS.......THIS PLACE I CAll OBSCURITY (more on that later...lets not get too deep prematurely I don't want to pull a muscle....shit).

I really don't know if anyone will ever read this but this is my personal therapy for now and welcome all who want to witness this new journey with me mmmk.

AHEM.....so some initial stuff about me:

I currently reside in Minneapolis (Obscurity!!!!).

I hate it here...I Equate it to living in a tundra.

I'm 21 and I believe I'm way beyond that mentally...way behind it facially.LOL

I'm chocolate in that late Saturday night craving sort of way

I attend the University of Minnesota BOOOO!!!! (This is gonna change soon more on that Later....again the muscle).

I'm random in that yea let's keep walking past the crazies sort of way (I'm Playing...but only jus a lil).

CAN YOU TURN ME UP JUS A LIL BIT MORE