Thursday, July 24, 2008

Obscurity: The back story

Disclaimer: This may kinda boring but if it wasn't a little on the dreary blah side then this blog wouldn't be called Obscurity now would it?

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you thought you had it all figured out, but you find out that you are at a dead end and hadn't even realized until then......?

I am originally from milwaukee and was 100 percent sure I wanted to be here and major in history. I wanted to teach or write a book or something. Being here I've had some really good times; I've done fairly well with my grades, met some great individuals, pledged a black greek letter org, and also got some valuable work experience.

About a year ago after I crossed (insert org here) I kind of felt empty...not so much my decision to pledge but just my life and my decision to move here. I had devoted so much attention to other things but had absolutely no personal at all. I mean it was cool to go to all the college parties and all the straight clubs but soon it just got to the point where I was going just for the music (which wasn't anything special). Now I'm not anything thirsty for boys or seeking to be somewhere where i can go boy crazy but its become to the point where now I just work and come home and do nothing. I don't go out or anything because I don't see the point up here its just super wack.

The weather up here is no joke. I mean the winters here are very harsh and its a struggle just to make it. My car has been towed numerous times for bullshit reasons i.e. snow emergency, spring leaf emergency, fall leaf emergency. It has come to the point where I add being towed into my budget. The cost of living is ridiculous.....I was paying way too much for a 1 bedroom for which I didn't even have a full stove or refrigerator.

I am a very focused individual and my priorities are always in order, but I have reached a point where I feel like I'm going towards getting a pointless degree. I work in banking and I am getting major experience and decent pay. I would love to continue in the financial industry and I plan to do so but I wouldn't get paid anymore if I had a history I want a valuable degree but which one? I don't know.......I haven't decided. all of this constantly depresses I travel ALOT mainly to Atlanta (but I go other places too!!!!! I was at sizzle....shit).

So my solution:

I really think I need a change....a drastic change. I need to start fresh because I feel that is what's best for me because if I stay here I will FAIL AT LIFE....I know I will stop doing everything and eventually give up and go sit in a pile of dirty snow until I no longer breathe. I have already started making preparations for this drastic change, actually since January but its been super motion as of 4th of July weekend. I don't really know if this the right decision but I'm just gonna do it because if I fail the tundra will still be here waiting.

So what is this monumental change you ask?

I'm sure its not that hard to figure out so I'll let you guys state the obvious.....and before ya'll do I'm not making this decision because I want to be extra gay and
So here's my sorta deepness.......sorta
* Song playing in background- Teairra Mari: Find My Way Back*


life said...

a little dramatic I see. You have a lot of things to figure out. You will have to transfer (no biggie). Will your job transfer you? what are you passionate about? You don't want to move only to come to the same conclusion. You have some thinking to do.

Darius T. Williams said...

LOL - so yea, bruh. You're in a place where we've all been...and many of us still either are, or we visit frequently.

I think you're in a stable place. You're constantly doing analysis and making sure that you're making the best choices for your life. There's nothing wrong w/that.

However, I will say this - I think that having a plan for your life and sticking with your plan in crucial. I think that once you make a decision - you need to work hard at it and make sure you stick to it until completion. Take time to celebrate the small steps so you can appreciate progress.

I will say this though - having a degree and no experience still lands you know where. One of the biggest misunderstandings is that you can graduate w/a degree in finance and start making big bucks. I'm a hiring manager and if I see no experience, I'm not contacting you. So, if you want to continue in finance - do that. Who says you can't major in history and minor in finance or accounting? You still have time - this way you're fulfilling your passion and making that dollar at the same time.

Corey Keith said...

So what are you going to do? I'm confused here... Are you moving? If so, where? And then, why?

I know how you feel. If you search back, you will find that I come from a very rural area in the south. I hated it as much as you hate the Tundra. But I stayed my ass put and got two degrees.

History is a great major. History Education is even better because it provides stability. Do what you love, but also do what will provide stable income. This is just a BS or BA, after all... With your intelligence, I am certain you will gain other degrees.

If you move to a major city, like Atlanta, go to a school that is affordable and reputable and sit that hot lil ass down and focus on school. Your education is your future. Georgia State and Clayton State are great options for affordable education in the ATL.

Keep us updated, cutie.

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Hmmmmmmmmm...I guess you're on your way to the Atl maybe for good. I'll be visiting Labor Day Weekend. OH BOY! LoL!


yet another black guy said...

Sizzle was wack wasn't it?