I haven't seen my dad since I was 18, (I'm 21 currently) and I'm pretty used to not seeing him. He and I have an on and off relationship due to him living in North Carolina and not helping my mom when she was taking care of me alone. This year me and him have connected again and he is trying to help me financially and I do appreciate it. So he wanted to come up here to spend some time with me, and then we're gonna drive down to Milwaukee to my cousin's wedding which was really cool. I booked his plane ticket and stuff and was thinking that this would be good seeing my dad and things could really get better between us. As I kept thinking good, positive thoughts something kept itching the back of my brain. I knew I had forgot something, maybe I put his ticket under my name instead of his.......no we have the same name, or maybe I wouldn't be off work when is the plane gets here.....nah I'll have plenty of time. Then it hit me...
I FORGOT HE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GAY!!
Damn it!!!! Now its not like I'm some big flame or somethin, but still I've changed a little I'll admit. My mom has been knowing since I was 17 but she didn't want me to tell my dad until I went off to college, but I just kept putting it off because I didn't want to go through that process again ( The first time around was not pretty..not pretty at all). Also with the exception with one of my cousins noone on my dad's side of the family knows I like dudes, and the only reason my cousin knows is because when I told her last year I was comin down to ATL where she lives labor day weekend she basically knew at the point. She just flat out asked me like "You like boys?". I laughed because she asked it with this ghetto/country twang to her voice. I told her the truth and she was cool and we actually have a great relationship. She told me that I should really tell my dad, and I agreed but I still never did it. So here lies the dillemma do I tell him when he comes or should I wait until a better time? My first instinct is to wait but I think its more of me wanting not to deal with this now. Sigh...........confusion is a bitch.
*Song flowing in my ear- India Arie: Good morning*
11 comments:
Man, this is a condundrum... I would not tell him... I would just to with the flow and if he asked, I would be honest and say, yeah...
If you are trying to build a relationship with him, I think it may be a good idea to tell him. I mean look at it like this . . . tell him early then that way you won't seem like you're concealing something from him. You've got it out there in the open.
Your place, your life, if he truly is to be apart of it, you might want to strongly consider telling him.
DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.
First - I love that song by India.Arie.
Second - if he asks, tell him. If not, then what's the big deal?
I'm torn, I think you should tell him, but I also think it should be a natural conversation. I'm faced with this same situtation when my mom comes in a few weeks.
I have to say, bruh. I am seriously thinking that your dad probably already knows but it is just something that is not talked about. Of course, I could be wrong. I don't know the nature of your relationship, but I bet I am right.
In the long run, I personally think it doesn't matter if you tell him or not. If it comes up it comes up, otherwise just live your life. Hell, no one ever has to come out to their parents about being hetrosexual why should you have to come about about being homosexual. It is something that you just are.
So, unless you are gonna have all kinds of brothers come up to see you...Or unless you are one of those people whose apartment is all "punked out", then I say just be who you are and enjoy the time with your dad. Period.
if he asks shares if he doesnt whats the point.
people dont announce they are hetero why do you need to announce you are homo
I agree...it's your business. If he asks then by all means tell him. I actually wish my father would ask me because it would be one of the most entertaining conversations we've ever had! He really hasn't done much for me since I was two and if he even tried it, I would put him in his place so damn fast!!! LoL.
~Damnit!
when the time is right you will know when to tell him...
I agree with Thaddeus & C. Baptiste.
What is really gonna change?
If you have a wonderful guy in your life and you want the whole world to know- then, otherwise it really is not nobody's biz who you sleep with , gay or straight.
Is it gonna solidify your relationship with your Dad?
Let it it flow.
Live your life.
Your lover needs to know if you are are gay, nobody else. :)
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